Monday, November 2, 2015

The last time...

It was February 5, 2015. That is the last day I saw my mom outside of the hospital. She was supposed to go to lunch with me and others from the office, but she wasn't feeling well so she stayed home. I brought her lunch from Jul's. Chicken lettuce wraps...her favorite. She tried to pay me for it, and I wouldn't let her. It was obvious she didn't feel well. Her cheeks were flushed, which was always a sign of a lupus flare-up.
I gave her the food, talked for a minute, hugged and said good-bye.

I have thought about that day almost every single day since she passed away. I wish I could have stayed with her while she ate instead of rushing back to work. I wish she could have come to lunch with us that day. There are so many "I wish" moments...

On January 31st, she came with us to watch Noah at gymnastics. My dad and her came and we sat watching him while keeping up with Luke. I am so glad she got to come watch Noah. He still remembers it and talks about her watching him do gymnastics.

On January 19th, I had the day off work for MLK day. We had a campfire at the church fire pit and my parents came. I will always cherish this picture I took of my mom and Luke that day.

I think about the time leading up to her death a lot. There are so many things she missed because she was sick. We didn't get to have Christmas with her in 2014 because she had pnemonia. She missed the boys birthday party in 2014 because she was in the hospital. There are so many special moments she had to miss because she was sick. I hated it, and wish more than anything I had taken a million more pictures of the moments we did have with her. Why, oh why did I not take more pictures with her? So if you see me taking a million pictures now, you can make fun of me and think I'm crazy, but just know that this is why. I know that all moments don't need to be photographed, but when I think of all the times I wish I had gotten a camera out, I cry.

As we are coming upon Thanksgiving and Christmas, I get a knot in my stomach. How do you celebrate without your mom? Even when she was sick, she was still here. Everything is different now. I see everything through "my mom has died" glasses.

I don't really know how to end this post. I just felt like I needed to write this, even if it was just for me.

My advice: Tell those around you that you love them and take lots of pictures. Tomorrow isn't promised to us.

The circle is small this month. Click here to read what Tiffany has to say about talking to chickens. It's a good one about loss and loneliness and about how God is bigger than it all.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

And I'm loved by you, It's who I am...

What defines me?

I've been thinking about that a lot lately. This past year has been a whirlwind in many ways. I've always been what some would consider "too sensitive" so it's no surprise that my feelings have been hurt a lot lately. There are a few people that used to talk to me, that now don't even make eye contact with me. I haven't done anything to deserve the treatment and maybe that's why it hurts. I've been asking God daily "what do I need to learn from this?" and I believe He's slowly been showing me.

I have allowed this hurt and these people to take my thoughts captive. I have dwelt on what I wish I could say, and I've regretted ever opening up to them in the past. Ultimately, God has told me to let it go, but I feel like He's also telling me I can't just let it go, but I have to move past it and forgive them for their "mean girl" attitudes toward me. I hate thinking about what has been said about me behind my back, and that these people, who never really cared to know me, have made up their mind about me based on someone's angry ramblings.

Another thing he's shown me is that I have actual real-life friends that love me just the way I am. He reminds me of that daily with a text or phone call from a friend. These are people I can be myself around and that also show me what "The Church" should be made up of...people that love and care for each other.

Ultimately, I think God has been trying to teach my stubborn self that no one else can define me. God defines me and that is ALL I should allow to capture my mind. This song came on the radio the other day and it was my first time to hear it.
The chorus says:
You're a good, good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
-"Good Good Father" by Chris Tomlin
I have decided to make that my mantra. When I'm feeling sad or even angry that these people have hurt me, I remind myself "I am loved by Jesus Christ. THAT is who I am. Nothing more, nothing less."

I read this on Facebook today by Ann Voskamp (if you don't follow her, you really should):
Lord, when I don't like me,
You still love me, You still like me, You still lavish me with acceptance.
When I am fed up with me, You invite me to Your feast,
When I am done -- with me, with life, with everything,
You whisper, "Hang on -- I am making *all things* -- *you* -- new." (Rev21:5)
And when I want to quit, You cup my face: "This great work I started in you? I won't stop that beautiful work until you are fully, completely, gloriously beautiful" (Phil1:6, 1Cor2:7)

So this becomes our brave & broken-hearted hallelujah, the one we sing into the dark, even when it's hard to believe:
I am His Beloved, His Beloved, His Beloved... and even now I will be held.
In the name of the only One who loved us to death & back to the real & forever life... Amen.
I think I'll need to put this on a poster and hang it up on my bathroom mirror, and I should probably post it in my office, too.

I am loved by Jesus. It's who I am. I am His Beloved. He is making all things--ME--new.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015


We are getting settled into our new normal. Our boys are in love with our new place. Luke is constantly saying "outside, outside, outside" and then proceeds to let himself out if we forget to lock the screen door. ;) The boys are ALWAYS dirty. Even after a bath, they somehow find a way to get dirt on them. And most of the time, I love it! I love that they are getting to be boys. Being a boymom is a lot of fun!

Our black lab, Annabelle, is loving it, too. She loves to wander all over the place, even into the neighbor's garage (oops-they weren't too happy about it). :/

The boys love to feed the dog, and she loves being fed. ;) This was Noah's chore, but Luke loves to help :)

The best thing about being "in the country" is that they can pretty much be naked at all times. Luke now thinks that if he's outside, he should be naked...haha!

These boys are definitely in their element. They LOVE the outdoors and now they have their own woods to run around in. I'm so thankful they can grow up here.

And here's my one of my favorite parts...looking out the kitchen window. It's just so peaceful in the mornings.

Today, I could have written about all the things we haven't been able to find since moving, or the stress of knowing we will have people over soon and the house is a mess, but instead, I want to share the good. I love my family. I love being with them and I'm so incredibly thankful that through all the hard times of getting to where we are now, He held us and got us here. We never imagined we'd find our "dream home" and it actually be within our budget. We know that God had a hand in it all and today I want to give Him all the glory. It could all be taken from us tomorrow, but He is still God and He is still on His throne.

I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women. Click here and see what is happening with Lori this month.  You can follow the links back around to me.

Monday, August 31, 2015

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised...

**I've started and stopped writing this about a 100 times. It's a mess, so I apologize for that, but it's done, for now.

On the morning of February 8, 2015, I got a call from my dad. He said he had to call 911 because my mom wouldn't wake up. I immediately got mad. I yelled at him and told him I was so mad that her doctors had her on so many meds. He, rightfully so, got upset with me, because he was just worried about her. I still feel guilty to this day for yelling at him that morning. Ben and I left the boys with his mom and then rushed to the hospital. It was bad. She was intubated. They had no idea how long she had been without oxygen. The next 2 days were horrible and long. We waited with anticipation hoping the neurologist would have good news, but it was never good. On February 10, we made the hard, horrible decision to let her go. She never would have wanted to live hooked up to machines. We sang at her bedside for nearly 2 hours after she was unhooked from the machines, praising Jesus for the life He gave her, but none of us were ready to let her go. My mom was a fighter throughout her life, and she fought to the end. She took her last breath early in the morning of February 11 while we sat by her bedside.

Over the past few years, as her illness got worse, I used to beg God to "give me my mom back." I screamed and yelled many times. I screamed again when I found out she wasn't going to get better this time. I yelled and asked God why He hadn't answered my prayer. I realized I had been praying for healing, and in the midst of it all, that's what He did, but not the way any of us wanted. We selfishly wanted her here with us. 

My mom was a wonderful person. She cared for all 3 of her children (and many she loved as her own) and we never felt un-loved. She did that while getting her bachelor's and master's degrees. She did that while working full time. She was wonderful. As we all got older, she felt like she had failed us somehow. She said she knows she wasn't always patient with us and I could always tell she felt a tremendous amount of guilt for some reason. I constantly told her that she was wonderful and we all turned out to be great kids (in my opinion anyway). I hope she knows how amazing she was to us.

My mom was the serious one, at least that was what she led us to believe most of the time. My dad is the joker of the family, and I've always been told I got his sense of humor, but I like to think I got a little of her's as well. She definitely made us laugh and we had so, so many good times with her.

(Ine, mom, and me before the Komen in 2005)

My mom loved being a Nana. She was so excited when Lindsey had Elijah. He made her a Nana and boy did she love being Nana. She sent an e-mail to a friend in October 2014 and it ended like this: "I want to live longer than what is expected and be a good nana."

(Elijah, mom, and Noah-Christmas 2011)
I think one of the hardest things about losing my mom is that my boys won't get to grow up with her around. I'm so glad Noah got to stay with her the summer of 2014 one day a week. He loved going to Nana and Pops house and he still asks about her from time to time. For that, I'm so grateful. I'm glad he remembers her now, but I know her memory will fade as he gets older.

I would give anything to have more time with my mom. I'm so thankful for the promise of heaven and that she's fully healed now. That is the only comfort I can find in it all. 

Tomorrow, September 2nd, my parents would have been married 37 years. Please take a moment and pray for my sweet dad, because it will be a hard day for him.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30

I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women. Click here and see what is happening with Bella this month.  You can follow the links back around to me.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

I’d never forget you—never.

“Can a mother forget the infant at her breast,
    walk away from the baby she bore?
But even if mothers forget,
    I’d never forget you—never.
Look, I’ve written your names on the backs of my hands.The walls you’re rebuilding are never out of my sight.
Your builders are faster than your wreckers.
    The demolition crews are gone for good.
Look up, look around, look well!
    See them all gathering, coming to you?
As sure as I am the living God”—God’s Decree—
    “you’re going to put them on like so much jewelry,
    you’re going to use them to dress up like a bride."
Isaiah 49: 15-18 (The Message)

Since 2010, I have worked at a camp called Royal Family Kids Camp (RFKC). My first summer I was so nervous. I had no idea what to expect. This is a camp for 6 to 11 year olds that are in the foster care system. Some of the kids are new to the system and are terrified. Some have been tossed from home to home, very familiar with the foster system. None of it is their fault.

Since 2011, I have also worked at a camp called Teen Reach Adventure Camp (TRAC). I was equally nervous my first time there. It is for teens 12 to 16 in the foster care system. Some of these kids have been in the system since they were little. There is little hope for adoption and many don't expect it anymore. It's heart wrenching.

There was one girl at TRAC this year that I can't get out of my mind. She was tall and beautiful. My heart broke thinking about what her future could become. The sad statics are that she will end up homeless, working for a pimp, and broken.
When I first saw this girl, straight off the bus, I thought-Man, she's beautiful. I hope she beats the odds and doesn't become another statistic.  But what if, because of the weekend at TRAC, she goes a different direction? Maybe, just maybe, a seed was planted and she will slowly change her perspective.

Here's what bugs me. This year at girls TRAC camp (the boys and girls camps are separate weekends, because-HELLO! Teen girls are boy crazy--haha!!) we were short adult workers. The camp went smoothly, by the grace of God alone, but there were definitely times that another trained adult worker could have been used. We are CALLED--every one of us that calls ourselves a believer--to take care of orphans. 

Learn to do good.
    Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
    Defend the cause of orphans.
    Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17 (NLT)
"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
James 1:27 (NLT)

So-here's my challenge. Find a way to take care of orphans around you. That could be mentoring a child, volunteering at a camp, becoming a CASA volunteer, etc...
There are TONS of ways to get involved. Guess what? Start praying--maybe you're even being called to adopt!

RFKC is an international camp. They are all over! Look it up and see if there is one near you. I promise you will never be the same. I can't imagine not being at camp every summer. I've even gone when I've been pregnant with both my boys. It's just too life changing for me to miss. It helps open my eyes every summer, and re-adjust my way of thinking. When life gets stressful or things don't go how I expect, I can think about the faces of the campers. It helps give me perspective on what I should and shouldn't be concerned about.

The theme at TRAC this summer was Joseph. Joseph was hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, lied about by his master's wife, and thrown in prison. He had no control over his situation. It seemed hopeless, but Joseph never gave up and kept trusting in God. Joseph was 17 when he was sold into slavery. He was 30 when Pharoah called him out of prison to ask him to interpret his dream. Joseph said he couldn't interpret his dream, but his God could. Oh what faith!!  After 13 years, Joseph was finally freed from slavery and prison. God didn't forget him. He was using him and had a purpose, just like God has not forgotten these orphans in foster care. He has a purpose for them!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women. Click here to see what Suzy has to say this month!


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

This God—His way is perfect...

“This God—His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” 2 Samuel 22:31 ESV

My son is 3 and his bible verse at church this month is "God's way is perfect." 2 Samuel 22:31
I love to hear his sweet voice and the way his pitch goes higher as he gets to the end.

I wonder how often we believe that, though. Do we REALLY believe God's way is perfect? There is a VeggieTales song that goes like this:

The Lord has given this land to us
No need to fuss, He knows what He's doing
We know that He will take care of us
If we will follow Him.

God's way is the best way,
Now that I know He loves me so
His way is the best way
And that's the way for me! 

Recently my family bought a house. Our contract said we would close on June 29th, but that didn't get to happen. Thankfully we were given 2 more weeks to close, but up until a few days before our deadline, we weren't sure it would happen. I was frustrated, annoyed, angry, and every other emotion you could imagine. I just couldn't understand why God would take this house from us after we had been praying about it for over half a year. Well, it turns out He didn't want to take it from us, but He did make us wait until the very last moments to let us know it would be ours.

Why? I still have no idea. I do know I have a HUGE trust issue. I feel like I should be able to do everything on my own. When I can't control a situation, it's hard for me. I need to be able to help in some way to get things done. So maybe through it all, I will remember this next time I am questioning God and His timing. Because you know what? He knew, back in April when we signed the contract, that we would close July 10th. Wild, isn't it? Even though everyone involved would have preferred it to happen much earlier, it didn't. That didn't surprise Him at all. Not one bit.

A lot of other junk happened during this process. And I'm reminding myself even as I write this that none of that surprised Him either. So today, I'm finding my comfort and peace in that. I'm so thankful that He knows what is best.

My family is so excited about what the future holds, but what I know now is that whatever happens, God already knew it would happen. I'll rest on that today.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015


I have always been a peacemaker. I hate for people to be upset and I hate for people to not like me. It's ok if someone isn't my friend just because we have nothing in common, but for someone to dislike me, because they know me and don't like me is hard for me to accept.

Life lately has been weird. In my adult life, I've had exactly 2 people that I've asked for reconciliation. The first time, I was in college and had been hurt by someone's actions, but I went to her and asked if we could move past it. I didn't really care if we remained friends, but I did want her to know that as a Christian I didn't plan to hold a grudge for what had happened. It certainly didn't happen overnight, and we aren't good friends, but if I saw her in public, we would surely say hello. 

The second time was much more recent and ended with a lot of unanswered questions. I prayed about reaching out to this person and was even encouraged to do so by someone that knew her well. I prayed as I wrote to this person, and after several rough drafts, I sent only what I felt like God wanted me to say. I got a response, but still a lot of unanswered questions. It's hard to be accused of things when you have no idea what you did and the only person that can answer that won't. It's also hard to be spoken to so harshly and uncaring by someone I used to think was a friend. 

Through this process, I was reminded of something I read awhile back from Jen Hatmaker:

If we knew what was really going on, we would be so much kinder, gentler, and more understanding with each other. We would understand that fear sometimes looks like anger, and that sadness sometimes looks like cool detachment, and that pain sometimes looks like cynicism. The exaggerated reaction usually belies something very raw underneath. Life is hard and people are struggling. We would do well to assume most folks are far more tender than they are letting on. We should treat people with a disproportionate amount of grace, because the worst thing that could happen ISN'T that they didn't really need it when we offered it...but that they really did need it and we failed to notice.
 Here's what I do know: I have no idea what this person is going through personally, just like this person has no idea what I'm going through. Fear sometimes looks like anger. All I see is anger from this person, but underneath it all, maybe it's fear. I reached out in grace and love, hoping for answers, and I came up empty, but what I do know is that I did what I felt like God told me to do.

Thankfully I have been surrounded by my husband and friends that love me and now I can only forgive and move on. I know that I have honored God in my words and actions. I have gone before Him and asked for his guidance, and I believe He brought me to this point. I also believe that He already knew this would happen, and that there is a lesson in it all.

I found this definition of reconciliation: the state of being reconciled, as when someone becomes resigned to something not desired.

That is exactly what I've had to do today...become resigned to something not desired. However, I believe what Matthew wrote: "
whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" and so today, I will loose the hold this has had on me here on earth, so it shall be loosed in heaven.

What I DO know as truth--God uses everything for HIS glory! 

And, as Taylor Swift says, "Shake it off"... :)
(Just had to end with a little humor after getting that off my chest...)

Friday, July 10, 2015

These are a few of my favorite things... (Sing along with me!!)

I've been working on a post about my mom, but I'm just not ready to post it yet. So instead, here's what I have today.

Here is a list of things that make me happy (in no particular order):

1. My family

 (picture from my birthday last week; notice what makes Luke, my serious kid, smile--CAKE)
These are my people. I can't imagine life without them. Ben is exactly who God led me to when I was all messed up. ( Our 2 boys have been SO much fun and SO hard at times. I can't imagine not having them in my life. With all the frustration, also comes immense joy.
2. Coffee, pie, and paleo yumminess...
(Photos from Facebook)
If you're looking for good coffee, go to The Foundry in downtown Tyler. They also have "Friday pie day" where they have Emporium pies, which are just amazing, especially on a bad day. I don't get it often, but when I'm having a splurge day, it's the best. If you want to make your coffee at home, we are so blessed to have the best coffee roasters right here in Tyler, Porch Culture Coffee Roasters. You can pick up a bag at the Rose City Farmers Market or at many other retailers around town. M+K Provisions makes the best paleo treats! Cookies and donuts and paleo's all SO good.

3. Traveling

We got to travel to Belgium and France the summer of 2013. That was the first international trip we had taken with Noah and we had so much fun! (Luke was technically there, too, but he wasn't done baking.)
I lived in Japan from 2005-2007 and did a ton of traveling while there. I have been to 15 countries (and more if you count ones I just stopped at the airport, but I don't count those). Traveling is a way to disappear into another world. I have traveled alone, with friends, and with my family. I love it all. I still have a list of places I want to travel one day. The top of my list is Africa. I have wanted to go there for many years, and God-willing, I will visit one day!

4. Prayer & Social Media

This probably should be first on my list. I generally hate the way social media/facebook makes me feel about myself. It's so easy to feel sorry for yourself when you see other people having fun and living what looks like a perfect life. I remind myself constantly that most people are only showing you the best part of their day. They aren't showing you a video of them losing it with their kids. However, do you know what facebook is so good for? Prayer warriors! If you are struggling, or having a bad day, there are always people there ready to go before the Savior on your behalf. The other day, I asked for prayer and within 4 hours over 50 people had prayed for my family. I had several people text me asking how they could help and letting me know they were praying. I felt a peace knowing that even if things didn't go the way I had planned or wanted them to, God is in control. In fact, He already knew what I was fretting and crying over would happen. He was not surprised at all. It doesn't make the process any easier, but knowing He knows what is best for me and my family makes it all more bearable.

5. Jen Hatmaker

(picture from Facebook)

I'm positive that we would be best friends. I mean, maybe she would think it's crazy that I tried to find her house when driving through Buda, but that's normal right? I'm not a stalker, ok?  Here's what I love about her:
  1. She's honest. She doesn't hold back and she's real. 
  2. She loves Jesus so fiercely and you can see it in all she writes. 
  3. She loves orphans. She takes care of the poor. She doesn't just talk about it, she is living it.
  4. She is doing exactly what Jesus has called her to do. It's just so obvious.  
  5. She's hilarious. She writes in a way that draws you in and has you laughing hysterically.
  6. She sends out regular e-mails to her "EF's" (E-mail friends) and they are awesome. I mean, who doesn't want to be her friend? This makes it a dream world, but still. Haha!
    Ok-I'm stopping this list, but only because I have other things to write about and this isn't all about Jen Hatmaker!

6. Love 41, Saddleback Leather and The Munson Family

Suzette, Sela & Cross Munson with Ben, Jennifer, Noah (and Luke in utero)
Can I tell you how much I love this family? These people love orphans, widows and street kids so fiercely. They have adopted several boys from the streets in Africa who now proudly bear the Munson name. They have been rescued and changed forever. Ben became mildly obsessed with Saddleback Leather years ago. This is how we first learned about the Munson family. After Saddleback Leather, came Love 41. Love 41 got it's name from Psalms 41:1-3: “Blessed is he who considers the poor; the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble. The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive, and he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies. The Lord will strengthen him on his bed of illness, You will sustain him on his sickbed.” 100% of the profits from Love 41 support the work of Africa New Life Ministries. I just love their hearts. Ben, Noah and I went to visit San Antonio a few years ago and Suzette, never meeting us prior to that, invited us to stay in their home. It was so neat getting to meet people who had successful, mission-minded businesses. I highly recommend shopping at Saddleback Leather and Love 41!!! You will NOT be disappointed!
7. This is one of my favorite quotes:
"I'm thankful for all the things I wanted and never got. As it turns out, sometimes I have a small minded understanding of my true need, and anyone else's for that matter. I tend to demonstrate blind judgement more often than blind trust. As much as I love to dream and scheme, I'm grateful for Providence and the lovely way she moves with reckless precision through all my wills and ways. I'm thankful for all the things I can't afford. I'm thankful that I don't pen my own story. And that my needs are not hinged on my asking."
--Sandra McCracken
I'll stop for now, even though I could keep going...maybe I'll continue it another day :)

I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women. Click here
to see what Danielle has to say.

Monday, June 29, 2015


Here we is the end of June. We are halfway through 2015. When I think back on the first half of this year, the last word that comes to mind is peace.

I lost my mom in February, and two weeks later lost my grandpa. Definitely not a peaceful time in my life. 

Recently my family has gone through a lot of changes. While some are good and exciting, it still comes with stress, unknowns, and no peacefulness.

I found this definition of peace:

-freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.

That's basically the total opposite of how I've felt lately...
I've had relationships fall apart, distanced myself from others, and cried a lot when I've been alone.

My friend, Elizabeth, recently went to Israel, and sent this e-mail to me:

In Israel, they use the word Shalom a lot. Shalom means Peace. It was a word that I needed to hear and learn, especially lately. I had no idea that word would mean what it does to me. Now I'm passing it on to you. 

Shalom, friend. Love you and praying for you. 

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I didn't realize it until this morning, but the real reason I have no peace, is because I'm fearful. I'm scared of the unknown, the unexpected. Lately I've had so much crashing down around me, that I can't see how to get out of it. But I see it now. Peace...freedom of the mind from anxiety. That's what I crave, what I need.  I realized that's what I needed when listening to a song I've listened to a lot after my mom passed away. It's the song "I am not alone" by Kari Jobe.
When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
Side bar: Listen to this adorable version of it. I LOVE that he loves to sing with me :)

I underlined "I will not fear", because when that line was playing I stopped singing, and started crying. I've been so fearful that I haven't even allowed Christ to give me His peace that He is willing and able to give. 

This is it:

Matthew 6:30-34 (The Message)
30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
So now, what does this mean? I don't really know. I do know this, though--He cares. He loves me. He wants good things and not bad things for me. Nothing good comes from worry--only destruction. It destroys my mind and my attitude. I should probably write these verses on a poster and wear them around my neck. I do know this--I want to actively pursue God's gifts for me. He has them there for us all. It must break His heart when we are too fearful or preoccupied with our lives that we don't stop to accept what He so willingly wants to give.

I'll leave you with lyrics from another song that has meant a lot to me for many years.
"Table for Two" by Caedmon's Call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
From the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
Before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
Long before You made me out of dirt
And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women. Click here
to see Jana's recipe for peppermint brownies. I LOVE that she has a paleo version :)